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Billie Eilish’s brother refused to help write suicide track, ‘All the pieces I Wished’

Billie Eilish’s producer-songwriter brother simply needs his sister to be glad.

Finneas O’Connell, 22, revealed that he and his household had been “insanely involved” after they first heard the Grammy winner’s darkish track “All the pieces I Wished.”

“It was a interval the place I was actually fearful about my sister, and I felt like an enabler in serving to her write a track as bleak as that track was,” he instructed New York Occasions Journal. “Just like the musical equal of giving an alcoholic one other beer: ‘I’m not going to assist this.’ ”

The track was reportedly impressed by a dream Eilish, 18, had in September 2018 by which she discovered herself leaping off a constructing.

“I was in a extremely unhealthy place mentally,” stated the “Dangerous Man” singer. “So the lyrics — ‘I had a dream I received the whole lot I needed’ — are literal.”

Eilish has been open about her struggles with despair and has spoken prior to now about how “All the pieces I Wished” was impressed by suicide. Nonetheless, the singer defined the track’s inspiration in-depth to the journal, which featured the track in its annual “25 Songs That Matter Now” listing, rating it at No. 7.

“We had this huge argument,” Eilish stated of her brother. “As a result of I admitted one thing that I was, uh. It wasn’t a bodily factor I was admitting. I don’t understand how to put it with out truly saying it, and I don’t need to truly say it. However it was me admitting to one thing that was very severe about my despair. A really severe step that I was admitting that I was planning on taking.”

“Finneas stated, ‘I don’t need to write a track about you killing your self and the way that’s the whole lot you needed!’ It grew to become this big factor,” she continued, “and I locked myself in my room, and I was in there, simply drawing on my wall.”

In her personal trend, Eilish insisted on staying true to herself.

“We haven’t actually talked about this since, however Finneas was like, ‘I don’t need to hold making these songs which are solely unhappy they usually by no means get higher,’” she stated. “He needed to make songs that resolve ultimately. I was like: ‘However Finneas, that’s not how issues work in life. And I’m not going to lie in a track and discuss how I’m feeling good when I’m not.’”

That’s when her mother and father intervened — and the songwriting siblings determined to put the tune on maintain.

“Plenty of songs are written on reflection, however this one felt prefer it was being written in real-time,” O’Connell stated. “And I was like: ‘That is one thing we’ve received to write on the opposite aspect of this hill. Now we have to undergo this in actual life. You’ll be able to’t all the time resolve your issues in a track.’”

“All the pieces I Wished” was launched as a single in November 2019, after being rediscovered in a cache of voice memos. The pair determined it was a greater time as Eilish “was in a greater place,” after engaged on her psychological well being and seeing a therapist.

Finally, O’Connell received what he needed, in a approach, by producing a track that was authentically Billie however added a glimmer of hope.

“Thought I may fly/So I stepped off the Golden/No one cried/No one even observed,” Eilish sings within the verse. However within the refrain, O’Connell harmonizes together with his sister: “You say, ‘So long as I’m right here, nobody can damage you.’ ”

“Finneas and I each had the thought to make the track about one another, as an alternative of simply me and the way I was feeling,” Eilish stated. “We had a whole block, and the way in which we received by way of it was to make it about us as siblings and what we imply to one another.”

Eilish additionally instructed the journal that she’s struggled with despair since her adolescence, and dying is a standard theme in her music. Within the morose “Bury a Good friend,” she croons, “I wanna finish me,” and the track “Bellyache” references ideas of murdering her personal buddies.

If you happen to or somebody you’re keen on is battling suicidal ideas, you may get help. Name the Nationwide Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK or go to

About the author

Tina Sanders

Tina Sanders

Tina is the mind behind, and she ideated it when she was working for an online magazine company where she used to cover US-based headlines news. She holds a degree in journalism and has more than 4.5 years of experience in an online magazine company. She had the idea while working there but when she was quite sure about starting something on her own, she took the risk and left the job to start Gruntstuff. Since then she added a few team members, and along with them, she creates General US news content on the site.

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