Some day, maybe within the not too distant future, we’ll be huddled round a burning garbage can telling tales of the ‘before-times.’ One I’ll love to inform the children is how Universal Footage spent $100 million on a movie adaptation of Cats, populated it with nightmarish, cockroach-eating human/cat hybrids and launched it to a baffled and terrified public. And now, with the Blu-ray launch of the pic imminent, there’s one other twist to this feline story.
I’m speaking buttholes. The web, hungry for something to distract itself from the Coronavirus, has seized upon a put up by L.A.-based author Jack Waz, the place he claims that:
“A VFX producer good friend of a good friend was employed in November to complete a number of the 400 results pictures in @catsmovie. His whole job was to take away CGI buttholes that had been inserted a couple of months earlier than. Which signifies that, someplace on the market, there exists a butthole reduce of Cats.”
Had been he speaking about some other film, I’d have my doubts, however that is Cats and I can undoubtedly see Tom Hooper deciding that what’d actually make his movie fizz is cat buttholes, and many them. Evidently this accomplished butthole reduce was then screened to (presumably horrified) Universal executives, who demanded that the buttholes be eliminated instantly and at nice expense. I think about that the poor VFX artist who’d spent months painstakingly rendering stated buttholes within the first place was fairly cheesed.
In any case, following Waz’s put up, Cats followers instantly began a hashtag marketing campaign to #releasethebuttholecut, which is now trending on Twitter. Rian Johnson chipped in to say that “#ReleaseTheButtholeCut is strictly what all of us want proper now,” whereas different customers stated “you may hold the Snyder Cut #ReleaseTheButtholeCut” and “our society is collapsing our world is teetering on the sting of utter chaos please please we want this #ReleaseTheButtholeCut.”
I can solely concur. If the world actually is coming to a standstill, no less than let me see a dance sequence the place a nude half-cat half-man Idris Elba does a tune and dance quantity whereas coquettishly flashing his asshole. C’mon Universal, I actually need this.
Cats hits Blu-ray on April seventh.
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